A VICTIM OF MY OWN.

I walked and walked

hoping that the path of destruction will end

I was not going to be okay

tears streamed down my face

blurring out the images my eyes captured

with every step I took,my heart sank deeper

it felt like it was bearing the weight of big metal chains

the smell of death and blood was the oxygen I needed to breath

it was the only thing keeping me alive

it was amazing how people were seperated by religion,

colour of skin,

race,

and everything else when alive

but once dead...

they were all being thrown on top of one another,

despite the religion,

despite the race,

despite the colour,

despite everything....

they were all just a heap of rag dolls waiting to be buried together in a deep dark hole.

the pain in my leg was excruciating as I tried to drag myself through all the remains,debris and human.

there were just too many things happening around me,

helpers shouting,

mothers wailing,

babies crying,

people gasping for air,

the thumping sound made when the dead bodies were hauled onto that heap.

my ear felt like it was almost bleeding

I was not going to be okay

and in all that madness,I was searching

for my loved ones

my family

I asked volunteers for help

but they shouted at me to find them myself.

I caught sight of an infant that was caught between the branches of a tree...

bloated and black from all the ordeals it’s tiny body went through

I fell to the floor and was too weak to get up

but I had to

I was not going to be okay

I was hoping not to find them in this path I was walking through,

I wanted to believe that they were safe

that was if I didnt find them there

but the path was never ending

the bodies were never ending

the time was never ending

the walk was never ending

my tears were never ending

the sky was slowly getting dark

I had been there for hours and I was still walking

holding onto hope in one hand

and woe in the other

a nurse came running to me

wanting to treat the gapping wound in my leg

she seemed more worried than I was for myself

I pushed her away and moved on

the pain in my leg was the last thing on my mind

in fact

it wasnt even on my mind

I was tired,weak and hurt

but somehow I had the strength to go on

and suddenly I froze

the anklet I wore for her on her last birthday was glimmering in the remaining light

I recognised the heartshaped bells dangling from it

my heart went numb,

I felt nothing

nothing at all

I took a step closer

the noises and sounds around me faded

she looked sweet even in slumber

I didnt know why she was so dirty

her little dress was torn and stained with blood and mud

wake up mia,

mummy is here now,

I whispered

everything is going to be okay I promise

pls wake up honey

we need to go home

ill make you a new dress

mia....

stop sleeping!!!!

I screamed and shook her with all my might

she was so light,

she was cold

she was stiff

she was dead

moments when she was alive flashed past my mind in the speed of light

I looked at her innocent being

I said nothing

the silence around me was deafening

there was not a living soul in that place

I looked around me and all I could see was

the fall of the human race in nature’s fury

I laid on the floor and wrapped her close to my heart

just like how a baby listens to the heartbeat of the mother in the womb

she listened to mine, lying cold on my chest

I started humming the lullaby I sang to her every night…

hmmmmm….mmmm….mm…..mm…….mmmmmm

I was trying my best to keep her warm

I wanted to cry

but I ran out of tears

that was the first time I looked at the sky that night

it was filled with stars

they were all watching over me

as if to assure me she was safe with them.

I would buy her a little gold coffin

I would dress her up in a flower dress

I would be able to let her go in the most beautiful way ever

compared to the infant that was caught in that tree

alone….I thought…..

I smiled back at the stars

and for once

I was going to be okay.